Family Bliss Blog

THIS BLOG HAS OFFICIALLY MOVED

2005-12-04T18:30:00.000-05:00

You can find the new home at WWW.FAMILYBLISSBLOG.COM. Please stop in and see us.

Santa Claus

2005-12-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

Well, we took Wiggle to go see Santa yesterday. And I was surprised at how well he actually did. And we had absolutely no wait! Granted, he has more of a smirk than a smile in the picture, but it is better than screaming. He fussed a little when Daddy first put him on Santa's lap, but by the end, he had told Santa he wanted trucks and had gladly taken his sucker! I am reminded how lucky I am that it went so smoothly when I think about my sister's experience a couple of years ago. They had waited in line a couple of different times only to get to Santa and her children would not sit on his lap (I think they were 4 and 1 at the time, maybe 5 and 2). Anyway, finally they waited an hour at this particular place and prepared the oldest one who said she was finally going to do it! Ready for a sucessful picture, they walk up to Santa only to finally settle for a picture of the oldest one scowling and the youngest screaming for Mommy! Ah, family memories!

Routine kid

2005-12-01T11:22:00.000-05:00

I always knew I had a creature-of-habit child, but it has become all the more evident this week. He is used to me picking him up at the sitter's about 2:50, we stay and visit for a little while, we go home and play, then we have dinner when Daddy gets home. He is very comfortable with this routine. But Monday was out of wack because we went to visit my Dad at his house. Tuesday and Wednesday were out of wack because I had shopping to do before picking him up, and then Christmas decorations to put up at home. And every day at daycare this week he has been a little harder to handle - hitting other kids with the door to the plastic playhouse or not listening. Then he has been very hungry for attention at home, which I have found hard to give him. And tonight won't be any better because Josh and I have theater tickets again tonight so he is staying with Grammie and Grampie. I really need to take Friday and just concentrate on my son! I have missed playing with him.

See if You Can Find the Weird in This...

2005-11-29T17:13:00.000-05:00

...quote from this article:

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Authorities are searching for the parents of a 3-month-old girl who died last year after her parents allegedly gave her lethal doses of vodka to quiet her crying, police said. Makeisha Dantus died in 2004 but her parents were not charged until last month. By that time, they had disappeared. The couple, Mackenson Dantus and Mardala Derival, are wanted on charges of aggravated manslaughter. Authorities said they believed the couple, both Haitian immigrants, were still in Florida.

Notice that the parents didn't have the same last name. Hmm--weird, huh? Who wants to wager that whichever one of these ridiculous first names is the female is referred to by the other as My Baby's Mama?

Some cute things, Vol. 3

2005-11-22T11:25:00.000-05:00

When Wiggle gives hugs, he has to hug you on both sides. He calls them "other hugs". I love it because it means I get an extra hug every time! The other day, he was looking at his dad's goatee and gave it a new name: "nest". I'm not sure what is living in there, but I hope it is not laying eggs! This was one of those things where you want to laugh hysterically, but instead you put on your "stern face" to say that we don't say things like that -- All three of us were driving home the other day when we got stopped by a red light. The cars going the other way were legitimately going, as they had the green light. However, Wiggle must have thought it was pretty unfair because he said "C'mon, knuckleheads!" I think I know what Daddy says when he is tired of waiting in the car! Although, it could be a lot worse (I have heard him say a lot worse)!

Blogging for Posterity

2005-11-21T14:08:00.000-05:00

According to this recent MSNBC article, many seasoned citizens are taking to blogging to fill their time. I say hoorah for them. It seems a common trait of the greatest generation is a propensity toward humility almost to the point of invisibility where when the grandparent passes on, they leave very few stories and memories for their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I took it upon myself to begin asking questions about a year ago. I talked to my own grandmother (whom I still affectionately call "Mee-Maw") a little bit about her past and recorded what I was told in a Family Tree software program. Chances are that there is one studious member of your family that has done extensive research on the history of that particular branch of your family--so use them! Don't let the memories and personality of your blessed grandparents pass out of the annals of the history of your family without trying to preserve and protect their legacy. But better yet, if you are a senior and looking to fill some time in your silver years, then give your family a great gift of yourself and start blogging about your life. It doesn't have to be David Copperfield where you start on the first day of your life and write all the way until today. Give them snippets. Give them images. Give them your experiences. Tell them what you think about life because the chances are that if you've made it this far then you know something that your loved ones need to know but are too shy, too busy, or too ignorant to ask you when they see you. Families are about shared love through common memories and the most precious thing you can do is preserve your memories for your families to share long after you are gone. If you are wondering what blogs are, how much they cost, and how to start one; there are plenty of resources. Just go to Blogger and look around--it's free; and if you need to know anything, just e-mail Rachel or me and we'll help you out as much as we can. Post away and Preserve Your Family

My father, part 2

2005-11-21T11:22:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report my father is doing wonderfully! Home from the hospital in 3 days and feeling better every day. Thank you to anyone who took a moment to pray for him.

Before I Was a Mom (A Forwarded E-Mail from My Mother)

2005-11-16T19:00:00.000-05:00

My mother sent me this spam e-mail today and normally I just trash them after reading, but I thought this one would be appropriate for this blog.

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.I never thought about immunizations.
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or gave shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled when you see that l ittle bundle being held by "your baby"

My father

2005-11-16T11:29:00.000-05:00

My father had coronary bypass surgery yesterday, so needless to say, it has been a emotional week. He is doing well right now, thank God. I told him yesterday when I got to see him before surgery that he was the best dad I could have asked for. And he was. I have to say that I never truly doubted his love for me (even though I sure acted like it in my teen drama years). And I know he did the best he could for us, which is the best any parent can do. Looking back, I had a pretty good childhood - not much to complain about at all! Did we fight? Yeah. Did I always get what I wanted? Nope. Has he always been there for me? Yes, and I absolutely know he always will be. Anyway, we love him always and have prayed for him to get better quickly, and any prayers you can offer would be much appreciated.

Hold On, This Wasn't In the Contract: A Husband Responds to the Pain in the Butt of Professional Picture Taking

2005-11-14T07:24:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, I had my picture taken professionally (not counting annual school pictures) probably three or four times. This was usually done at Olan Mills Portrait Studio back when it was in Fairview Plaza in Decatur, Illinois. Back then, you made appointments and things were ready to go when you showed up. After we had our son, my wife transformed into this picture scheduling overlord who decreed by the will of God that we would have our family pictures taken every six months by the JC Penny Portrait Studio because we don't want to lose "the memories." Now, keep in mind that we have owned a digital camera (still and video) since before Wiggle was born, and right now I have about four thousand "memories" sitting on our hard drive. But apparently these memories aren't as valuable until you pay $200 for a club membership, sitting fees, etc. And as an added bonus, the portrait studio also accepts walk-ins and this is especially lovely during holiday times when they schedule sessions in increments of 10 minutes. Now, how many families with small children do you know that can accomplish a complete photo shoot in ten minutes? Exactly. So, you end up waiting at least a half-hour and this is for an early-day appointment. God forbid you schedule a mid-afternoon appointment on a Sunday and if you do, you'd better bring a book and red slash your afternoon because you won't be getting one. And here is where the elitist in me comes out because for every photo shoot, we've gone up to the nice suburban mall in the rich part of town where my parents live and where I spent about five years living. I didn't think about how the caliber of people affected the inevitable JC Penny picture taking waiting period that proceeds every "scheduled" appointment--until yesterday. Yesterday, my wife sprung a new location in the "lower economic opportunity" area of town with the run down mall. Imagine the mall from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and add twenty-five years with little maintenance and you'll get a good picture of what I'm talking about. When we got into the store, my wife went to the elevators and pushed the button. Nothing happened...for like two minutes. And we must have had "Free Food Here" signs on our backs because ten people came out of nowhere and hovered around us waiting for the elevator, which still wasn't here. I imagined the prospect of riding up three floors with all these people in an elevator that couldn't make it down in two minutes and I looked at my wife and said, "Are there stairs?" We hit the escalator which sounded like it had lost a few springs. I could barely hear the store muzak over the groans of the metal teethed ascension. We finally made it up to the third floor and I was delighted to see that all the miscreants who we had escaped from riding up with were already crowded around the front desk signing in. I had brought a book with me, having learned from past errors, and immediately took to my seat along with my son. Now, I'm about to use a bad phrase--White Trash. This family came in with these two brat kids, probably eight years old, a boy and girl. They immediately began fighting and arguing over the germ-infested portrait studio toys. It's mine. I had it first. No it's mine. Until finally whatever passed for these childrens' mother came over and took the toy away saying, "If you can't share it, you can't have it." I thought, Because taking away the object is goingt to solve the root problem, right? But I kept my mouth shut. The little boy started eyeing my son's cars that he had in his hands. One was his and the other was a Portrait studio toy that he had picked up. The little kid asked if he could play with them. I told Wiggle that we were going to let the boy play with the studio toy and gave it to him. He asked to play with the black car (my son's) and my wife promptly told him, "No, that's ours." Then the little girl started faking hiccups in the worst way that I've ever heard--it was kind of like a sharp inhalation of breath to which she added after each one, "I've got the hiccups." We ignored her, feeling sorry for her having to resort to such pathetic tactics to receive attention from adults who were strangers. I thought of the mother and her "swoop in and shit all over everything" style of parenting and I felt sorry for the kids because I could see their futures like a soothsayer. She was going to experiment with drugs and sex early in life, probably get pregnant at seventeen, end up working as a receptionist (if she was lucky)--and of course, she would be a single mother. The boy would probably have his lip split open in a bar fight by the time he's 23. And while these are probably unfair assessments, I don't think they're off the mark. The truth is that everything you need to know about someone, you can find out from the way their children act. It's a painful truth but one that we parents should learn early. After the kids walked away fighting over something else their mother was going to ignore them over with her "get them to go away and be quiet style of parenting' (which I am still guilty of far too often); I leaned down and whispered in my son's ear, who had been watching the whole scene with marked interest. I said, "Those kids are bad." He looked up at me and said, "Yeah, they're bad." And in that moment, I thanked whatever deity spins the world around that I was smart enough to court and keep my wife and that she had enough patience with my shortcomings as a man and as a person to let us have this wonderful child whose future is as bright and wide as the stellar highway that spins in the sky each night. And if these are the memories we're puchasing, I guess litte sitting fees and sitting time aren't so bad in retrospect.

Yeah for Friday!

2005-11-11T11:32:00.000-05:00

This will be the first Friday in a while I will be going home to an empty house. While sometimes, I admit, it was annoying to work outside the home all day to come home to my husband sitting on the couch (okay, so he did clean every once in a while too), it was really nice on Fridays. We could run errands, or just enjoy basking in the glow of the coming weekend! But now, he doesn't get off work until 5:30, and we will be lucky to see him at 6:00. However, I feel eternally grateful that he is FINALLY working for a company he likes. A company that seems to take pretty good care of their customers AND employees. This is a sacrifice we are glad to make, although I will miss that time together. I am sure Wiggle will to. But Friday is Grammie day, so he gets plenty of attention today!

One More Reason I'm Glad We Don't Watch Live Television

2005-11-10T13:45:00.000-05:00

According to the recent Kaiser Family Foundation study (Columbus Dispatch requires registration):

The number of scenes with sexual content has almost doubled during the past seven years, from about 1,900 in 1998 to about 3,800 this year. During prime time, about four out of five shows on the major broadcast networks included sexual content during the 2004-05 season.

I would never let our son watch live television because I believe that even benign television advertising influences children in insidious ways. We have a Tivo (which is on the fritz right now) but we haven't had actual cable to use it with in over a year and won't until at least this summer (or never if Rachel has her way). Once I get my HDTV installed, the Discovery HD channel will be on all the time (unless my XBOX 360 is taking stage) or we are watching a DVD (the best way to control what your children watch on television and limit exposure to an acceptable level). Parents must be the filter for the children or else all the crap out there will just pour right into the delicate minds of your children and they will become rotten because the nature of our consumer culture is to sweeten, desensitize and destroy. So be a filter or be part of the problem.

Halloween cutie

2005-11-08T20:09:00.000-05:00

Halloween day was an interesting treat this year! Wiggle was in a terrible mood from the time we got home. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want me to put him down. He didn't want me to pick him up. He didn't know what he wanted!! And he didn't want that puppy dog outfit on. But once we got him outside, he was good to go. He really enjoyed looking at the other kids' costumes and handing out candy to them. He didn't want the hood of his costume up though, so we had to bribe him with Daddy's lightsaber so we could get a few pictures! I haven't gotten brave enough to take him out trick-or-treating. Maybe next year. Who really needs the candy anyway?

What a weekend - and some thoughts on differences

2005-10-31T11:22:00.000-05:00

I think I spent more time with my husband this weekend than I have in a very, very long time. Let me make a distinction here. When I say time, I don't mean the guy's definition of time (in the same house together). I mean the woman's definition of time, where there is actually communication between the 2 parties and maybe even a little physical contact. Now mind you, this does not mean we spent a lot of quality time together. My husband still wanted to call his friend at our "romantic" dinner table on Thursday before the theater. He still spent plenty of time staring at the computer screen where the sound of my son and I are white noise in the background. But we did go visit some friends and their beautiful new baby girl and celebrated my grandfather's 83rd birthday (which is actually today - Happy Birthday, Grandpa). I am confused and asking for some help understanding. Why is it that men have such a different idea of "quality time"? Why is it men think women are much more important in the parenting process than they are, especially when it comes to boys? Do they really think the five minutes they spent today telling their son they loved him is going to stick with him more than the five hours his son spent playing while his Daddy paid him no mind unless he was doing something "wrong"? Where is the line between maintaining a man's individual passions and a man making sure his family knows they are the most important passion? Sorry for sounding negative. I still mean what I said on our anniversary. I love my husband and feel lucky to be married to him. Understand his priorities, I do not.

Date Night was a Success

2005-10-30T17:53:00.000-05:00

It was a brisk night here in Columbus, OH this past Thursday when Rachel and I motored into the arena district. We had a fantastic dinner at Gordon Birsch where Rach had her signature cosmopolitan (made with Absolut of course) and I had a fantastic breakfast beer that had been brewed with bananas and cloves. After dinner, we made our way to the Ohio Theatre for Hairspray which ended up being pretty good. I'm not a huge musical fan, mind you; but my wife really enjoys the theatre so I bought her season tickets for the whole year. I have a secret suspicion that every musical has a bit of homosexuality at its core and, understanding that going in, I can generally look beyond the flash and flair and really enjoy the show. The music was good, full of high energy, and the storyline dealt with racism, segregation, and bridging humanity through music and the spontaneous outburst of human emotion. Of course, any time spent alone with my wife is worth the price of admission and this date night was no exception.

If You Want to Know How Rich People Treat Education Differently...

2005-10-27T13:13:00.000-04:00

...look no further than New Albany schools here in New Albany, OH--home of Leslie Wexner (founder of the Limited, Victoria's Secret, and Bath & Body Works). The public schools in this communty are unbelievable; they look like an Ivy league college. And where most school systems are struggling and begging their landowners to pass paltry 2 to 5 million dollar levies; New Albany is asking its citizens to pass a whopping 20.26 million dollar property-tax levy. If you have seen the houses in New Albany, you would have no doubt that this money could be raised. Now, I am all for big money being spent wisely even if there is risk involved, but consider the system's justification for this cost:

[The money is] needed to address a projected enrollment increase of about 1,000 students by 2010, officials said. If voters approve the levy, it would cost the owner of a $100,000 home about $620 a year

In case you didn't believe your eyes, let's go over those numbers again:

That's a $20.26 million dollar levy to acquire 1,000 new students in five years
This equals $4,052,000 each year
This equals $4,052 per student per year
This equals $11.10 per new student per day for five years

Now, I have heard from credible sources within the community that there is a rampant problem with the high school children, as you could imagine would happen when you are the child of rich executives who work 70 hours a week and allow their children to be raised by nannies and country club staff. Too much money and too little direction has created social monsters who seek entertainment in drugs and other shenanigans, undermining the very stable social structure the community leaders are seeking to establish. In other words, this is the perfect breeding ground for the next Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold, or Theodore Kaczyinksi--and the citizens are being asked to pay $11,101.37 per day for the next five years to fund this possible menace to society. Now look, I'm a capitalist and I believe that success is generally earned but I also believe that inherited wealth can become a poison in the mind and spirit of those without direction or inspiration and I do not mean to stigmatize or generalize accusations on the characters of the young adults coming out of this communal institution of learning. But I am urging caution and I am saying very plainly that money alone does not a proper citizen make; and in my mind a 20.26 million dollar tax-levy to attract 1,000 new students is so far beyond ridiculous that I still find it incredible that they actually published their intentions behind this tax-payer request. Les Wexner is one of my heroes; he has created an empire out of giving people exactly what they want and he himself has given back immeasurably to the community of Columbus, OH. But just because Les gives his money to this community does not mean that he can likewise infuse his morals and values into the children of the community. I say, if you're wealthy enough, home school your kids and make sure that you are the ones providing the moral and spiritual influence in their lives. Otherwise, all the money in the world won't create a better one, it'll just look nicer on the outside while it rots from within.

This article originally appeared on the Boys Wear Pants, Men Wear Trousers Blog

TAGS: New Albany, Ohio, Leslie Wexner

Date night!

2005-10-27T11:59:00.000-04:00

Everybody tells you that you have got to make time for your marriage when you are a parent. In theory, I understand why and believe it to be true. In application however, I am very bad at it! I mean, Josh and I almost always spend the hour between Wiggle's bed time and my own bedtime together. Sometimes it is quality time, and sometimes it is just time that we are next to each other. But to take a whole evening and spend it with Josh only, that is rare indeed! And it is my own doing. I have no shortage of people who would watch Wiggle for us. But for my birthday, Josh got me season tickets for the theater. And our first show is tonight. I absolutely cannot wait! Not only do I love going to the theater, but it will be very nice to get "cleaned up" and go out on the town. I am sure it will be worth being dog tired tomorrow!

Sorry, I'm getting lazy with the posting!

2005-10-25T20:12:00.000-04:00

Well, Josh is almost employed again! He has accepted a position, we are just waiting for him to start. Yeah! This has just been so stressful, I find it hard to keep up with blogging. Okay, so tonight I tried blanket sleepers for the first time this season with Wiggle. Now, understand he is pretty particular about his clothes all of a sudden. Well, he freaked out. I am sure he forgot that he has worn them about half of his life! He was not into it covering up his feet. I kept telling him they were just like slippers or socks, but he was not buying it. He would not help me pick up his toys, either. The only thing that eventually calmed him down was his milk. I knew I couldn't give in because I have like eight other pairs just like them that are also brand new. But if that milk didn't calm him down, I am not sure what I would have done! By the time he was done with his milk, he had forgotten he didn't like those "red jammies". How funny it is - sometimes they don't forget what you want them to, and other times they just get over it!

Anniversary

2005-10-20T11:16:00.000-04:00

Today is Josh and my 4th wedding anniversary! Of course, we don't get to really celebrate by going out because money is tight. Sometimes I think it always will be. But we have each other, Wiggle and our health. I feel blessed to have that. I feel blessed to have spent 4 years married to a man with so much passion and ambition, even though that means sometimes it is not easy. But marriage never is easy 100% of the time. If it was, would you really appreciate it or would you take it for granted? We love each other always, and we love the life we have made for ourselves. Even though this is a rough patch in our lives, we are trying to face it together, strong. This too shall pass and it will be easier together.

The wedding and brown shoes

2005-10-17T12:03:00.000-04:00

Well, we were brave enough to take Wiggle to his first wedding since being a tiny infant. Overall, I thought he was very good. He did however, take a quiet moment in the ceremony to announce that he had brown shoes! He was very taken with college friends of ours Mark and Jen. During the best man's speech, all he wanted to do was go see Jen. I don't think I have ever seen him so facinated with another adult (one that he was not related to). It was actually pretty cute, as long as mommy remains number one girl. Congratulations to Arlie and Peter! I know your love will continue to grow as Josh and mine has, even when times are rough.

Oh no, not again...

2005-10-16T19:04:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, it has been pretty hard lately to be a good parent. Wiggle is at that age anyway where he is constantly challenging and pushing the limits to find the boundaries. But Josh is out of work again, and stress is very high. I am finding it very hard. Yesterday, it was just him and I at home (Josh had gone to a job fair) and he was not listening. Finally, I just sat down on the bed with slumped shoulders and rubbed my eyes, feeling completely discouraged. Wiggle must have sensed my limit because he stopped what he was doing, put the phone away like I had been asking him to and came to me. "Are you mad, Mommy?" I told him no, I was just tired of him not listening. But I felt a lot better when he recognized my feelings and wanted to make me happy again. I think that may be the first sign of compassion he has shown on his own, without help. I am so proud of him. Now, I am just asking for prayers for my family's strength and fortitude. Josh is extremely intelligent and will find something soon. But prayers never hurt!

I am so proud of myself!

2005-10-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

Last night, my precious son tried his milk-pouring trick again. This Mommy was so proud of the way she handled it! Instead of yelling, I remember how bad I felt after doing that the other day. I stayed calm, removed his milk from the table, and told him to clean up the mess with his napkin. I then reminded him that that is not the way we drink milk and that he was done. It was a good moment for me, remembering to think about positive discpline before reacting. We had such a long afternoon yesterday because he was tired and whinning that I can't believe I still had that much restraint stored up! Then yesterday, my day care provider told me that his diapers are staying dry longer and she is going to start trying to get him to go potty. I hope he does! In some weird, kinda disgusting way, I would like to be there when he first goes in the potty, but what is more important is that he be proud after he has done it!

Oops, I yelled...

2005-10-06T11:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am trying to be that positive discipline mommy I have been talking about. Well, last night I took a step back towards reaction mommy. Wiggle decided to pour his milk on the table and splash it - and he had a ball doing it! Of course, my first reaction was to yell at him for doing it. What I should have done was to make him help me clean it up. Sitting here now, that makes total sense. But in the heat of the moment, I just didn't even think about it. This is a new way of traning your brain, and it's hard work.

The "thing" that matters weighs about 30 pounds!

2005-10-05T11:53:00.000-04:00

Okay Josh. You made me cry at work! I know last night was a sacrifice for you, but I am glad to see you thought it was worth it. Wiggle was so happy to have you in class with him, and it definitely got you some deposits into my love bank! I applaud you for making that time for Wiggle. He absolutely misses you when you are not home when we get there.

The Things That Matter Can't Be Weighed...or Can They

2005-10-04T20:00:00.000-04:00

I started my new job this week and the time commitment is intense compared to what I'm used to. I'm used to being able to hit the store after I drop off my son. I'm used to being there when he gets home. But now I'm back to looking at his picture while sitting in a cubicle and wishing I was hearing him laugh or scream or cry or whatever he is doing at that moment. I've been guilty of not showing him enough attention, of losing myself in cyberspace while he whittles away the seconds of his childhood running around me. But today I drew a line. We've been taking him to a singing music and instrument class called We Joy Sing for almost two years now. And normally Rachel takes him with the understanding that I'll come once a semester and take pictures and film so we can use the footage in our scrapbook videos. Well, I work about 40 minutes away from home and have been taking the backroads home to avoid traffic--backroads which just happen to go right past the church where the class is held. About 2:00 today, as I stared at his picture, thinking about how crappy it was going to be that I wouldn't see him and my wife until 6:30 when they got home (three hours before I'm back in bed to start the whole thing over again)--I decided I would surprise them by showing up to class early. So I waited...and they pulled up. I hid down the hallway and waited for them to enter the hallway. I stepped out and my wife saw me first, calling his attention to me. He screamed fantastically and started running towards me with his hands outstretched. I have to admit that I got lost in the moment and ended up quite choked up. As a man, as a father, and as a human being; there are few things more wonderful than seeing and hearing your child run down a long hallway, arms outstretched and overjoyed to see you. In fact, that experience is what makes life worth living and while he may not remember the twelve hour days (including traffic) that I put in to keep a roof over his head, clothes on his back, and Hot Wheels on the floor for me to step on--I hope that he remembers the time that his daddy surprised him by showing up for his music class, by putting him first for a change, maybe not always, but definitely once in a while. These things are what make life worth living. It's cliche but it's true.

Pumpkin Painting and Apple Picking

2005-10-03T11:39:00.000-04:00

We had a full weekend of first times. I got it in my mind to take Wiggle apple picking on Saturday. So my sister and her 2 girls came with us and so did Josh. Wiggle, being the classic city boy, didn't want to walk through the taller weeds. But other than that, he had a ball and ate an apple fresh of the tree. But then we went to the pumpkin patch. That, he didn't like at all. All those vines and stuff, I had to carry him through the whole thing! But we got some good video of him screaming his head off in the pumpkin patch because I set him down! On Sunday, he painted little pumpkins. He was so cute and particular about using the right brush and the right color. These were the first things he had ever painted, so we have them proudly displayed on the mantel. We also took some video of it. While Wiggle was watching the video we took on the laptop, he said "I am so handsome!" Boy, I guess he has heard that a couple of times (or a couple million times).

Some cute things, Vol 2

2005-09-30T11:30:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, we discoved Wiggle had learned the word "dude." He was playing with his cars and said "Hey, dude!" I thought Josh and I would die laughing. Wiggle does this chin-down eyes-up look when he is reading you the riot act. People say he got it from me. So the other day at dinner, Josh said "show me what Mommy looks like when she is mad." So he did it! Then, Wednesday at dinner, we had a guest over and Josh asked him again. So he does that look and then Tom started laughing because he says I really do look like that when I'm mad! Kids are way to observant!

Help develop your preschooler's brain!

2005-09-29T11:41:00.000-04:00

As I stated in a previous post, I am reading this parenting book called Positive Discipline for Preschoolersby Jane Nelsen, Ed.D., Cheryl Erwin, M.A., and Roslyn Duffy. In it, I just read a section about the best ways to develop a healthy brain, since that is so important during these years. Here is what they say: How to develop a healthy brain: 1.) Demonstrate affection, interest, and acceptance. 2.) Practice the art of conversation. 3.) Read, read, read! 4.) Encourage curiosity, safe exploration and "hands-on" learning. 5.) Limit television time. 6.) Use discipline to teach, never to shame or humiliate. 7.) Recognize and accept your child's uniqueness. 8.) Select child care carefully--and stay involved. 9.) Take care of yourself. Some of these seem as though they should be obvious, but how many of us are feeding our children Baby Einstein and running them to and from educational/developmental classes feeling like if we don't, we must be inadequate parents who care little about our child's learning. However, I believe that these authors have a really good point. Preschoolers' brains may be "sponges," but what is it that they are really meant to absorb? I believe that they learn much more life-long benefitial lessons from practicing the above tactics then us cramming ABCs and music appreciation down their throats. I try to let Wiggle learn at his own pace, and provide a healthy environment for it. And I think he is pretty smart!

The Wiggle Diet

2005-09-26T11:59:00.000-04:00

I find that I am so much more careful about what I give my son to eat than I am about what I eat myself. Overall, I think we all eat pretty healthy -- buy whole grains, don't overdose on bread and pastas, don't sit down and eat ice cream every night. But we could be a lot better off too. Josh's family has a history of heart disease and we could both use a better workout. So Josh and I are beginning what we like to call The Wiggle Diet. If we wouldn't give it to him, we shouldn't eat it ourselves! If you look at what Wiggle eats, he is among the healthiest children I have seen. He likes whole peaches and he just bites into them, skin and all! He loves blueberries, raisins, turkey and cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc. And to top it all off, he rarely sits around. Last night for dinner, he had 1/2 a peanut butter and jelly, yogurt and raw broccoli (with nothing to dip it in). I think most of us corrupt our children's diet because we don't think they will eat things plain; they have to eat it like we do (smothered in catsup, or ranch dressing). Plus, he eats 3 meals and 2 snacks, which is what is recommended for all of us to keep our metabolism up. So here we go on The Wiggle Diet Josh!

The English language is missing a few words

2005-09-22T21:01:00.000-04:00

There is only one word for love, but it encompasses so much and means different things to different people. I was wondering tonight why we expect people to show love the way we do. I choose to show my love by spending time with people. My husband spends more time with his computer right now than he does with any person. But that doesn't make him a bad father, a bad husband, a ban son, etc. In fact, he is good at all of those things. However, I expect him to show love the way I do. Rationally, that seems ridculous. Emotionally, it seems obvious. Josh best shows his love by the little things he does (the time he calls you back to say he was a jerk, the time he spends setting up and researching Wiggle's train set, the frequent and short calls to his mother). Let's take a survey. How do you let the people you love know that you love them? Maybe we can expand our horizons.

Train set

2005-09-21T12:34:00.000-04:00

Between Josh, myself, and Grammie (mostly Grammie), Wiggle has collected almost everything for his Geotrax train set. It is made by Fisher Price. It is so cool, although it takes up a lot of space. We don't even have everything set up and it takes the majority of his playroom floor. But it is neat because there are little remote controls with which he can make the train go and make noises, or he can just push it around the track. They have a multi-level clock towerwhich chimes when the train goes through it, a lighthousethat plays the sounds of seagulls, and all sorts of cool things. If you have a train lover like I do, check it out on Amazon.com. Although they don't have the starter set any more, you can still buy it in the store. Anyway, even Josh and I have fun with it. I caught him playing with it after Wiggle went to bed last night!

New Study States that Entering Day Care is a Very Stressful Time for Toddlers

2005-09-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

Story Link

Job!

2005-09-15T11:37:00.000-04:00

Well, the wait is finally over! We can breath a sigh of relief and cheer with happiness. Josh was offered a job yesterday! Thank God. While I have incredible faith in my husband, the prospect of losing income is always scary. Especially when you have a child, a mortgage, and all those other bills. But, we are over that trial in our marriage now (although I think we handled it pretty well) and it is time to celebrate our next chapter in life, credit card debt free and thinking about another child!

Quote to Share

2005-09-14T11:21:00.000-04:00

What I learned from my mom is that in life, you need to be flexible, to realize that challenges are best viewed as an adventure. Living in a civilized way is not having the finest house, but about the way people treat one another. -Donna Hanover

Dinosaurs!

2005-09-13T23:14:00.000-04:00

I wanted to recommend these 2 books we got for Wiggle to anyone else who might have a child interested in dinosaurs. One is called How Does a Dinosaur Clean His Room? and the other is How Does a Dinosaur Count to Ten?. They are great books because the are short, the pictures are very well done, and they teach little lessons. I think there are 2 others out there done by the same authors, but I am not sure what they are called. We don't have those yet, but when we find them, we will certainly be picking them up!

Ohio Cops Arrest Parents Who Kept Their Kids in Cages

2005-09-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

Story Link C'mon...don't say you've never thought about it. There's nothing wrong with thinking about it so long as you don't do it. But don't lie and say you've never thought about it. Livia Soprano said, "Children are like animals. They're no better than dogs." I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who agree with those sentiments and they are the ones that should be locked in cages. TT: Ohio, Children in Cages

9/11

2005-09-11T19:19:00.000-04:00

September 11, what a memorable day. Not only was does it mark a day where a horrendous tragedy occurred in 2001, but in 2002, it is the day I found out the Josh and I were going to be blessed with a child. What a difficult day that was, 3 years ago. I was so happy about being pregnant, and so full of sorrow for the families that would never see their loved ones again, the wives who maybe never got the chance to have their babies with their husbands. The children who would not know their fathers. This continues to be an awkward day for me emotionally. Three years after that day, I am blessed with a wonderful and healthy son, and a loving husband. I pray that those who experienced such a tragic loss 4 years ago have been able to find blessings too.

Books

2005-08-30T11:40:00.000-04:00

Both Josh and I are readers (Josh certainly reads more now than I do)! So who would be surprised that our son is too?! When Wiggle was younger, he was like most other kids and wouldn't sit through a story. He wanted to flip the pages himself, out of order, and maybe rip them too! One night, I found a story that I really wanted to read. When he tried to take to book from me, I said, "It's Mommy's turn." He seemed to accept that. For a while at story time, I had to remind him when it was Mommy's turn and always give him a chance to read too. Now, he loves books! We read for about 30 minutes every night. His newest book, The Wheels on the Bus, has moveable flaps and is a familiar song to him. He really likes this book and I highly recommend it!

Time to Watch What You Say!

2005-08-26T19:08:00.000-04:00

Josh uses the word "stinking" a lot. Stinking dog, stinking cat, I think it is his favorite adjective! Well, the other night we took Wiggle to Half Price Bookstore. He was ready to go, but Daddy was looking at one more thing. So I told him to wait. He looks at me and says "Stinking Mommy!" Okay, so that is funny, but not funny. It's funny in the store when I am in a good mood, but it is not going to be funny when I am trying to discipline him. I keep telling Daddy, wait until he says it to you. Then he will see what is wrong with it!

Good Play Toy for Cheap!

2005-08-24T19:03:00.000-04:00

Last time we went back to Josh's home town, I got a great recommendation from his cousin Roxann (a teacher). See, Wiggle loves to play with cars. So she recommended getting some dried beans letting him play with his cars in those. So I went and bought some dried green peas and lentils (you can use any type of the dried beans, I just bought the small ones so he can dig with his trucks). Then I put them in an old 9 x 13 pan and let him go to town! He loves it! He played with that for at least 1/2 hour tonight, which is quite the attention grabber for a 2 year old! Before long, I am going to have to find a bigger pan. Also, he always has to play in the kitchen so we can easily spot what he drops on the floor, because some will always find their way out of the pan. Thanks, Roxann for the great idea!

Saying These Things Already?

2005-08-22T20:15:00.000-04:00

Sometimes Wiggle cracks me up. The other day he looked at me and said "Get outta town, Mommy." I had to laugh. Where do they come up with these things?? Then, Sunday he heard be say absolutely and kept saying it the rest of the day, but it was more like "Ass-olutely". Unintentionally, of course. Just couldn't pronounce that B!

Some Cute Things, vol. 1

2005-08-19T19:00:00.000-04:00

The other night, Wiggle was playing with his trucks, and they were frustrating him. So, he looked at them quite seriously and said "Not a game, trucks!" The other day in the car, we were playing the "Potty or Diaper" game. I would give him a name of someone he knew, and he would tell me if they went peepee in the potty or if they were diapers. I don't know why, but he loved this! Last Friday at Grammie's, Wiggle had a first. He gave something a name. Grammie hooked her dog's leash onto Wiggle's little plastic shopping cart. He walked it all around the house and when Grammie asked him what his "dog's" name was, he said "Lady." Where he got that, I have no idea. But he remembered her name when we went over there again for a visit. He was even telling her to sit!

You Can't Have a Blog About Parenting and Not Touch on the Spanking Debate!

2005-08-18T11:25:00.000-04:00

Okay, so here I go. This is my view on spanking. Let me start by saying that every parent should do what they believe is best for their child, and I am not trying to say otherwise. I am going to share my point of view, and what Josh and I are doing with our son. But I do feel very strongly about what is right for us. Also, I want to say that this blog was sparked by an article I read last night in Parents magazine, and some information was taken from it (but not my views). I believe that we want to instill the belief in our children that violence will not solve their problems. How is it we are supposed to instill that moral in our children if violence is what we are using to solve our issues with them? It's not violence, some may say. Well, whether you call it violence or whether you call it physical discipline, it still doesn't teach our children the way to handle issues/problems as adults. They can't punch their schoolmates when one of them breaks the rules. It's the old do as I say, not as I do. I believe that spanking does not teach our children how to correct their behavior, which is what we really want. It teaches them what not to do (for the short term anyway). Why don't we showing and/or telling our children what we expect and giving them reasonable consequences for that behavior? This will certainly serve them better in the long run. Let's use eating for example (extremely frustrating topic for this age). I could smack Wiggle's hand when he chooses to throw his food. And I have a couple of times (regretfully). But instead, I remove the food from his reach and tell him we don't throw food. Most the time, it is just a signal he is done eating. So I ask if he is done. Mostly, he replies yes and I reinforce the correct behavior by telling him that when he is done, he just needs to tell me he is done. Overall, this tactic has worked so much better than smacking his hand ever did. People in the "spanking camp" would say things like "my parents spanked me and I turned out okay" or "parents who don't spank are just afraid to discipline their children." I'll address the later first. I am sure if you asked Wiggle, he would tell you I discipline him. I do not consider myself to be a pushover, and I don't think anyone who knows my parenting would tell you I am. He gets away with some things, but they are few and far between. I state my expectations and expect them to be met. Or he will have the consequences. But the consequences are things like being held firmly in my lap as I described a couple of weeks ago (works like a charm for us), or losing his nighttime story privilege (I hate to enforce this consequence). I assure you, I am not afraid to discipline my child. However, I just don't see where discipline equals spanking. Now, in regards to the old "my parents did it" argument. I have to say that I don't recall ever being spanked by my parents (I must have been a perfect child). However, many of us spend our teen years, and some of our adult years finding things that we want to do different then our parents. So how do we revert back when it comes to spanking? My parents did a great job, but that doesn't mean I am going to do it just like they did. (As an aside, I do believe my parents occasionally did spank. At least that is what my sisters say.) It is time now also to say that the American Academy of Pediatrics is strongly against spanking. However, Dr. James Dobson says it is okay if used sparingly and not violently. So who do you believe? This is what I believe. I believe that most parents spank out of their own frustration. I believe that teaches our children the wrong way to deal with undesirable behavior and frustration. I believe that an occasional "loving" (meaning not while you are frustrated but while you are calm and collected and have discussed why the child is getting spanked with the child) swat on the bottom is not going to permanently damage a child, mentally or physically. I also believe that it is not the method we are going to use with our child. I just don't see where the benefit lies.

Night time already!

2005-08-17T11:24:00.000-04:00

We recently adopted a new bedtime routine that really seems to work. At 7:30, we clean up Wiggle's toys. If he was good and helped clean up, then we read stories and let him drink milk until 8:00. If he didn't help clean up, he gets his milk and we try to have him in bed by 7:45. Then we brush his teeth. Our toothbrush has a little red light in it the flashes for two minutes (the lenght of time you are supposed to brush your teeth). If he is good, then he gets to brush his teeth for another "flash". If not, then it is straight to bed. Then we turn on his nightlights, make sure his Froggie and Glowormare in bed. I then turn on his music and we snuggle for 2 songs. Now, these are kids CDs, so the songs are shorter. When those 2 songs are over, he gets in his crib, lets me cover him with his blanket, and that is it. I do tell him every night "Mommy and Daddy love you. Good night." It seems to be working like a charm! We rarely have any troubles, including when we were out of town visiting Josh's family. Bedtime after Paci has finally consistently been easy!

I Have the Most Mannered Child!

2005-08-16T11:43:00.000-04:00

I had other things I was going to talk about today, but then Wiggle did the cutest thing last night, I just can't resist talking about it. I knew he did a good job for a 2 year old remembering his manners - please, thank you, excuse me, etc. Lately, he has really enjoyed role playing. He tells me all the time "I'm Daddy" or "I'm baby." Well, last night he was Daddy again. So, to tease him, I said "No, I'm Daddy." Well, then the real Daddy came in and said "I'm Wiggle. Milk! Dinosaur!" (Wiggle's two most spoken words). So, Wiggle went into the kitchen and pretended to get some milk for him. He broght it in, gave it to Josh and he "drank" it. Then Josh said "cake, fruit snacks" which are Wiggle's favorite food words. So, Wiggle went into the kitchen again and pretended to get him some cake. When Wiggle brought it into the living room for Josh, he looked at him with a sideways, serious look and said "Please?" Josh and I just about busted a gut laughing. Boy, has he ever paid way more attention to us then we thought!

Are You Listening??

2005-08-15T11:39:00.000-04:00

Wiggle has started to ignore Josh and I already! Well, maybe ignore isn't the right word, because he will acknowledge us most of the time and then just tell us to "wait" or keep doing what he wants until he is ready. So Josh and I made an agreement. If you want him to do something, or stop doing something, you tell him once. Then you make him to do it (not forcefully or agressively) firmly. We have a rule that Wiggle is to sit down when he eats. In the past, I would tell him multiple times to sit down (mostly because he would get up once he had already sat down or got distracted on his way to sitting down). So now, instead of repeating myself, I will lead him to a chair after I have asked once. We have found it to be working pretty well. It makes you get rid of the silly complaints, because you have to be willing to get up if he doesn't listen. It cuts down on yelling or getting upset because he didn't listen. Think about it: if you have to ask you child 10 times to stop jumping on the couch, by the time you get up to make him sit down you are frustrated! However, if you say it once and then get up to sit him down, he learns that you expect him to do what you say immediately, not when he feels like it. Plus, there is no arguing. Things were overall pretty peaceful this weekend.

Movie Night

2005-08-11T11:33:00.000-04:00

Someone at work let me borrow the movie The Love Bugyesterday. Believe it or not, I had never seen it. And we thought Wiggle would probably like the races and crashes. True to his ususal form, he couldn't sit through the whole 108 minutes. He probably watched a maximum of 45 minutes. But what he did watch, he really liked. I thought it was a very cute movie. I am such a proponent of having a variety of choices of kid-friendly DVDs, even though we rarely watch TV with him. Last night, we broke down and bought The Muppet Show Season 1and The Muppets' Wizard of Oz. I can't wait to start those. I remember watching the Muppet Show as a kid! I just couldn't resist. TV is getting such a bad reputation with parents. Now, I don't care much for TV myself. My husband will tell you that when he is not home, the TV is not on. However, I believe that if you are watching something "clean" and you are watching it with them, it can be family tradition. I remember watching TV with my parents, and I didn't turn out so bad! I think it is the overuse of the TV, allowing viewing without company, or letting children watch inappropriate TV is the problem. TVs are not human. They do not really interact with your children, nor are they babysitters! I think even education shows like Dora and Blues Clues are better when you watch them with your child and talk to them about the concepts.

Happy birthday, Grandma!

2005-08-08T11:17:00.000-04:00

My Grandma turned 80 this past weekend. She is still getting over pneumonia and not as strong as she should be, but we had a little surprise party for her. It was great to see her light up at the sight of the people there to celebrate her. She had a stroke not too long after I was born, so I never remember my Grandma walking. But she barely let that slow her down. She always seemed to be in a good mood. But now she seems full of the complaints of things she can't do. I am amazed and upset about how much more than physical strength this has seemed to take out of her.

Why are newborn babies so perfect?

2005-08-05T12:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I saw my newborn nephew last night for the first time! He was five days old and perfect. I had forgotten how easy it was to sit there and just stare at newborns, talk to them as though they know what you are saying. This baby has been a miracle and a surprise from the beginning. My sister had her tubes tied, but got pregnant anyway. Then they told her they were pretty sure it was a girl, only to decide it was a boy a couple of months later. Then, labor came on so quick, he was born in the ambulance on the way to the hospital! I was very upset not to be able to see him while he was still in the hospital, but last night I realized that that does not really matter. What matters is that I love him already! Even Wiggle wanted to hold him! I thought seeing him would make my desire to have another child even stronger. Fortunately, my "mind" overrode that feeling and I didn't have too much difficulty. However, I am ready as soon as my husband finds a job!

Welcome to the Internet, MeeMaw

2005-08-04T11:06:00.000-04:00

This week, I took a computer to my grandmother who has never been online before. She will be 72 this November and she learned how to do e-mail, surf the web, customize her Yahoo DSL browser, bookmark internet sites and how to properly use emoticons in instant messages and e-mails IN ONE DAY!!! My grandmother is the sharpest woman I have ever met. She raised three pain in the ass boys who grew up into three pain the ass men practically by herself. She worked three plus jobs her entire life and never complained to anyone. She is my hero and I am very proud to welcome her to the online community. I love you MeeMaw!

Birthdays

2005-07-29T20:57:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday. Really, I am just another day older. Just like every other day. But it was a good day for us. I had a spa day curtesy of my wonderful in-laws, and then a relaxing evening at home with my family and my friend who was born a week before me, and I don't remember any of my life without her. It was very nice! Neither of my sisters called, but there is still time, and they do have their own lives (one is about to give birth to her 4th child). But I got all the other usual calls. And Wiggle told me happy birthday and sang it to me too just now. It doesn't get better than that!

Here's a New Method of Discipline...When Your Child Annoys You, Abandon Them on the Side of a Busy Highway

2005-07-28T14:29:00.000-04:00

Story Link For some people, the act of conceiving a child should be deemed criminal.

How much is too much?

2005-07-27T17:56:00.000-04:00

You see so many programs for children lately, it is hard to pick one. But I believe you should just pick one. That is the most important thing. So many people get caught up in the idea that a child's brain is a sponge that they put them in a class ever day of the week. We have chosen a music class. They get to play instruments, sing songs, listen to stories, etc. And Wiggle absolutely loves it. We have been going for over a year now. He has learned some really valuable lessons, like cleaning up his toys. I would love to get him into swim classes too, but that will have to wait for the money (or we take some time off of his music class). Time is valuable at home too. Remember to let children have free play time. It is vital to development too.

Since When Has Potty Training Involved Beating Your Child with a Belt Until She's Dead?

2005-07-27T13:41:00.000-04:00

Mom guilty in death of toddler Yeah, we're using the "tell us when you're ready method" combined with the great DVD Potty Power.

This is So Outrageous, I Can Barely Respond...

2005-07-27T13:38:00.000-04:00

Story Link A couple has finally been cleared of child sexual abuse charges after they took a roll of film to get developed that included a father kissing his son's belly button (the little boy was naked). The children were taken away, put in protective custody and the legal avalanch descended upon the couple. This should have been a short investigation and then done with. These poor people...

More Than $1 Million Kids' Folding Chairs Recalled

2005-07-27T13:34:00.000-04:00

Story Link

Great Quote

2005-07-25T11:36:00.000-04:00

My mom sent me an e-mail with a quote she thought I might enjoy (and I did). Children who are not spoken to by responsive adults will not learn to speak properly. Children who are not answered will stop asking questions. They will become incurious. And children who are not told stories and who are not read to will have few reasons for wanting to learn to read. Gail E. Haley 1971 Caldecott Medal Acceptance Speech My mom also paid a compliment to my husband and myself for preparing our child to be a life long learning, and I am so proud to receive a compliment like that! Thank you to my mother for recognizing what I strive so hard to do. Thank you for the support and education you gave me that enabled me to do this for our son!

How Much Corporate Insurance Has Gone Downhill in Two Years...

2005-07-24T14:06:00.000-04:00

My wife and I both work for one of the largest health insurers in the nation. In 2003, it cost us $15 to have our son. Our next child will cost us $400. And we work for the company that adminsters the benefits! I shudder to think of what the future is going to be like in healthcare if something isn't done right now!

Mary Beth Posts an Interesting Post About the Type of Mother She DOESN'T want to Be

2005-07-24T14:02:00.000-04:00

Supafine's Blog ...unfortunately this is type of mother that the media is teaching many women to become. We need more mothers like Mary Beth and I'll be willing to bet that as she stomped the campus of our mutual Alma Mater BGSU in her combat boots, she never thought that someone would be saying that about her parenting skills and philosopy. Keep it up Mary Beth...

I'm back from the black hole of Harry Potter world and thinking about discipline

2005-07-21T11:24:00.000-04:00

I finally finished Harry Potter last night, so now I can blog again! Excellent book for those of you who want to know! I want to talk about discipline. There are so many various positions and ideas about how you should teach your child good behavior. Of course, to make it all the more complicated, each child responds to different things. You have to find what works for your child, and each child separately. Wiggle is 2 now, so we are leaving the time of accidental bad behavior and unappealing behavior resulting from curiosity. We are entering the time when that beautiful angel of mine may decide to do something out of meanness or anger. Gone are the days when he threw his food because he wanted to find out what would happen, how it would look when it hit the floor and how long would it take for the dog to eat it. In are the days where he throws it because it is not the food he wanted (or one of the other many things he could get angry over). Right now, the big problems we have with him are hitting and whinning. The whinning is my fault. I taught him that whinning will get him what he wants, even if that is just my attention. I have made a conscious effort the past couple of weeks to stop that. I will tell him "Ask me in a nice voice," or "I can't understand you when you are whinning." Or something along those lines to let me know that I am not responding until he stops whinning. Hitting, on the other hand, I handle a little differently. I hold him in my lap, face out. I hold his arms down and wrap my arms around him so he can't move too much. Let me make it perfectly clear that I do NOT hold TIGHTLY. I hold firmly so he can't "wiggle" away. I hold him there for a minute or so. Then I tell him that I will let him up, but if he hits again, I will hold him again. It works almost without fail. He normally wants to get up and immediately give me a hug. I use this with some other unwanted behaviors, such as throwing toys, spitting, etc. It is firm, but not frightening, and it seems to work for now. Ah, the excitement of raising the future leaders of this world! Sometimes, I find myself just gazing at him and wondering what kind of man he will become. It is incredibly important to me to remember (especially when he is being rotten) how much what I do impacts the answer, including discipline.

White Trash Parenting Lessons (How NOT to Talk to Your Children)

2005-07-20T05:35:00.000-04:00

Story Link A sixteen-year old kid secretly records a fight with his mother who ruthlessly assaults him verbally. This is not for the feint of heart and the mother should be put on trial for child abuse--no questions asked. Lock her butt up and get her out of my society, like two second ago.

A Fathering Quiz from Daddy Connection

2005-07-19T15:40:00.000-04:00

Site Link

I pulled this fathering quiz off Daddy Connection which was downloaded to my Pocket PC but which I couldn't find an actual hyperlink to.

"Rate yourself ona scale of 1 to 10 in each area (1 is lowest or 'I want to do more' and 10 is highest or 'I am doing great')

Express my love to my child out loud
Show healthy physical love
Know and acknowledge my child's unique gifts, talents and aptitudes
Know and accept my child's unique peculiarities
Giving my child eye contact when talking
Ask them how they feel and listen to what is not being verbalized
Validate my child's emotions
Openly admit my own mistakes
Ask for forgiveness or apologize
Spending individual time together

I rated myself an 8 or 9 (I don't believe in total perfection) in everything except number 10 which I am making a commitment to myself to work on, if only adding an extra 15 minutes a week at first.

Here is a Very Scary and Very Special Blog You Should Take Some Time to Look Through

2005-07-17T22:50:00.000-04:00

Blog link I came across this Blog by chance and it knocked me out. Start at the bottom. If you don't feel a pinwheel of emotions by the time you get to the top, you might want to check your spirit-level because you could be mentally, emotionally and spiritually dying inside.

Harry Potter strikes again

2005-07-17T14:26:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted lately, but this week was pretty hectic and I have been reading the new Harry Potter this weekend. And of course enjoying it! I had to tell myself not to feel guilty spending time reading instead of playing with Wiggle every minute. How silly is that! But I feel like I am neglecting him if I sit there and read instead of play. Well, back to my book... or do I play with Wiggle?

Study Claims that Delaying the Introduction of Cereal-Based Foods in Infant's Diet Could Help Avoid Later Gut Problems

2005-07-16T08:05:00.000-04:00

BBC NEWS | Health | Gut problem link to baby weaning

A Father Faces His Delivery Room Fears

2005-07-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

A dad's delivery-room anxieties - Maternity Madness - MSNBC.com

RIP Doc Baker. Little House Doctor Dies at 77 Years Old

2005-07-15T09:51:00.000-04:00

CNN.com - 'Little House's' Doc Baker dead - Jul 12, 2005 The last season of Little House will be coming out October 11, 2005.

Study Finds That Children Learn Bullying By Example

2005-07-14T21:32:00.000-04:00

Story Link

Father of 3-Year-Old Was Afraid His Son "Was Becoming a Sissy" and Might be Gay, So He Beat Him to Death

2005-07-14T21:29:00.000-04:00

Story Link

Study Finds 287 Contaminants In Cord Blood of US Infants

2005-07-14T21:25:00.000-04:00

Story Link Unborn U.S. babies are soaking in a stew of chemicals, including mercury, gasoline byproducts and pesticides, according to a report released Thursday.

Study Finds That Video Games Have Therapeutic Potential

2005-07-14T20:58:00.000-04:00

Link

Study Finds Hand Washing Dramatically Cuts Illnesses in Children

2005-07-14T20:56:00.000-04:00

Hand washing dramatically cuts illness in kids - Children's Health - MSNBC.com

Missouri Begins Posting Pictures of Sex Offenders and Their Communities Online

2005-07-10T11:09:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - U.S. & World - New Law Posts Sex Offenders Online

Sharing a Bed With Infants Raises SIDS Risk

2005-07-09T12:09:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - Sharing a Bed With Infants Raises SIDS Risk

High IQ and Active Youth May Prevent Dementia when Older

2005-07-09T11:57:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - High IQ and Active Youth May Prevent Dementia

Two Six-Year Old Boys Found Performing Oral Sex on Each Other in School

2005-07-08T09:05:00.000-04:00

KGBT 4 - TV Harlingen, TX: Kindergartners Accused of Having Sex at School Anyone who thinks that our schools haven't become havens for indecency and immorality need look no further than this news link here. This is exactly what happens when you expose youth to sexuality at too young of an age. I don't even think I knew what sex was until the third or fourth grade and only then through dirty drawings that the black kids were doing on their multiplication table ditto sheets. This is just pathetic.

Man Faints and Dies After Seeing Wife's Epidural

2005-07-08T08:55:00.000-04:00

Man faints, dies after seeing wife's epidural - Men's Health - MSNBC.com The hospital is being sued in a wrongful death suit.

Ohio Department of Education Puts a Cap on New Charter Schools

2005-07-08T08:54:00.000-04:00

New charter schools limited; 100 in lottery for 30 spots They are tripling the voucher program and limiting competition--this sounds like some hands are getting washed here. There are 100 schools competing for 30 spots and they are doing it through a "lottery." How about through a rigorous system of educational testing? Nope, let's throw a dart instead--that seems fair; that seems smart when we're talking about the education of our children. Stupid Ohio politicians and beauracrats.

TV in Bedroom May Hamper Kids' School Performance

2005-07-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - TV in Bedroom May Hamper Kids' School Performance

"Reading" already

2005-07-06T12:41:00.000-04:00

For Christmas, Wiggle got some of these little board books where there is one picture on each page and then it names it. His set is called "Machines," but there are plenty of others out there. There is Busy Machines, Rescue Machines, Speedy Machines, etc. We have read these so many times at night that he can "read" them now based on the picture. It is wonderful to see the joy on his face when he reads the whole book. He has such a sense of accomplishment!

Fireworks

2005-07-05T12:07:00.000-04:00

I figured that at 2, maybe my son was ready to see the 4th of July fireworks. As it turns out, I was right. At first, the noise clearly startled him. He started pointing to the car saying "go home, go home." But he never screamed and cried, so I continued to speak calmly to him and by 5 minutes in, he was saying "pretty." I am so proud of him for working through the fear!

Snoring Tots More Likely to Be Hyperactive Later

2005-07-03T15:57:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - Snoring Tots More Likely to Be Hyperactive Later

Friday night gatherings

2005-07-01T18:17:00.000-04:00

I am sitting at home on a beautiful Friday evening with my husband and son by my side. We are expecting my sister, brother-in-law, and 2 neices any time. We have an enjoyable evening ahead of us. It makes me think about moving. My husband is job hunting, and with that there is always the question to move or not to move. I always said I would if the job was right. But I sure would miss evenings like this. You can't put a price on things like this!

Mom Pleads Guilty in Diaper Rash Death

2005-06-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - U.S. & World - Mom Pleads Guilty in Diaper Rash Death

Madonna Gives Her 8-Year Old Daughter a $10,000 Credit Card To "Teach Her About Money"

2005-06-28T23:04:00.000-04:00

MADONNA - CREDIT CARD FOR LOURDES This is about two notches below giving a child a loaded handgun. It's a social crime.

Dinosaur Fever!

2005-06-27T12:22:00.000-04:00

Well, it used to be cars that my son was obsessed with. Now, it has moved to dinosaurs. We had to watch the Disney movie Dinosaurtwice this weekend! It was amazing how quickly the shift in interests happened. He is just like his father, obessive about something until he finds something else he is excited about.

Abstinence Makes Weak Sperm Grow Stronger

2005-06-24T20:15:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - Abstinence Makes Weak Sperm Grow Stronger

Evacuating the Home After a Chemical Leak is Not Necessarily the Safest Thing to Do...

2005-06-24T20:07:00.000-04:00

BBC NEWS | Health | Home 'safest' after chemical leak

Could We Possibly Demascuate the Modern Male Any More Than We Already Have? Apparantly So.

2005-06-24T20:04:00.000-04:00

BBC NEWS | Health | Father's blues can blight babies

Ohio May Begin Tracking Sex Criminals Using Satellite Technology

2005-06-24T16:45:00.000-04:00

Ohio may track sex criminals ...wicked cool.

Study Finds that Home Births are Safe for Women

2005-06-20T19:59:00.000-04:00

Home births safe for low-risk women - Women's Health - MSNBC.com

Study Confirms Portion Sizes Directly Related to Obesity in Children

2005-06-20T19:38:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - Do Bigger Portions Lead to Bigger Kids?

Wash your fruit!

2005-06-20T11:32:00.000-04:00

I know a woman whose 4 1/2 year old son was just diagnosed with Hepatitis (they are still unsure which type). The doctor speculates that it could have been from fresh fruits or vegetables. I know we all get a little lax somtimes on things like washing these items before we eat them. But we have to remember how many people touched it before we did (including the people at warehouses and other shoppers). Hepatitis isn't the only thing that could be spread this way! Let us remember to wash off our food and pray for this precious little boy feels well again soon!

Having a Strong Social Network Can Help You Live Longer

2005-06-17T15:05:00.000-04:00

BBC NEWS | Health | Friends 'help people live longer'

Ohio is Now the 35th State to Allow Legal Public Breastfeeding

2005-06-15T14:09:00.000-04:00

WTOL-TV Toledo, OH: Public Breast Feeding Now Legal in Ohio

He will be reading at three!!

2005-06-14T11:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, well maybe not. I know we all think our children are so smart. But my child is blowing me away. About three weeks ago, he started with his colors. Then it was letters about a week later. He can identify some of them consistently. And X is his favorite letter because he can recognize it and tell me what sound it makes. He is doing phonics at 25 months! He has to have learned it from the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics Magnets he got for Christmas. He loves it. He plays with it at least once every day. I have to say if it didn't cause him to learn, it sure as hell didn't hurt. This is one of the best learning toys we own!

CDC Says Kids Need 1 Hour of Exercise Per Day

2005-06-13T18:50:00.001-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - CDC: Kids Need an Hour of Exercise a Day

A Good Support System Can Help Fight Ovarian Cancer

2005-06-13T18:50:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - Family and Friends May Fight Ovarian Cancer

In Vitro Fertilization Kids May Be Taller

2005-06-13T18:49:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - Health - 'In Vitro Fertilization' Kids May Be Taller

This is So Atrocious that It Has to Be Shared...

2005-06-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

FOXNews.com - U.S. & World - La. Town Stunned by Church 'Child Sex Ring' I don't even know what to say, but that it's events like these that reassure me than church life is not for my family. I realize not all church's are like that but there is still a risk of this involved with any system that instills a group identity upon individuals. I'll pass on the purple Kool-Aid, thank you.